A few weeks ago, Dr. Tim Elmore (author of Habitudes- if you haven't read these, DO IT!) visited our campus to speak to campus leaders. He has so many incredible points, but one of them really stuck out to me and I have found that it has continued to be practically applied in my interactions with people since.
Backing up to give you come context of where my heart was at this point... this semester my key word for my personal and spiritual growth is "People." While I want to grow all areas of my life, this is what my focus is when it comes to making applications, reading resources, and studying the Word. Much of what I have focused on so far is taming the untamable... my sassy tongue (haven't made a lot of progress there- but working on it!), as well as planning relationship-building time well into my schedule.
Going back to Dr. Elmore's talk- as you can imagine, everything he talked about could easily be related back to growing in my relational skills with other people. As leaders, we constantly focus on how we can lead and love well, and without putting others before ourselves we would be unable to be successful. Dr. Elmore referenced one of his most popular Habitudes, "Thermostat vs. Thermometer" towards the end of his talk, and pointed out that people can be described as either of those devices. As you know, a thermostat changes the temperature, while a thermometer just reflects it. People can either reflect other people around them or be the positive change needed. I'm sure I don't have to point out here that most leaders would say that they aspire to be the positive change wherever they are in life.
Elmore pointed out that the key to living as a thermostat is:
1. Living by your values
2. Adding value to others
Obviously as a leader, it is important to have a firm grasp on what you stand for and not have to think twice about making decisions. No matter what those values are, a person should have a firm set of standards established for how they live their life and why. I could blog for days about the design that God has carefully set up for us long before we were born (Psalm 139, Matthew 28:19-20), but that isn't the theme of today's blog. Nevertheless, this is the first step to making the change happen around you.
The second point has been speaking to me in multiple ways since it was first introduced. What does it mean to add value to another person? Elmore defined it as walking away from an interaction with another person (fellow leader, follower, ANYONE) and being able to answer yes to the question of "did I in some way encourage, teach, build up, learn from that person, and are both of us different and BETTER because of it?" Wow, did this create a huge "Ah ha!" moment when he explained this point!! In my quest for learning about people, I have been searching for tangible ways to apply the love and value that God has been giving me, and this concept provided a starting place for that! Not only was this something I could easily measure, but this was also something that could be widely applied to all of my relationships.
To help me better understand this princple, I literally recorded how I added value to each interaction I had with a person longer than 2-3 minutes. This allowed me to become more aware of each conversation and whether or not it was beneficial. Here are some ways I have found I can add value to conversations in the past few weeks:
1. Share and ask questions about each other's passions.
2. Share what I've learned recently in my walk with God and elsewhere, and ask what they have been learning as well.
3. Genuinely compliment or encourage them.
4. Remember past conversations and ask about them.
5. Just anything that has to do with talking about Jesus.
I've loved this application and have found that it's created more opportunities to talk about Jesus and at the same time feel like I have deeper relationships. I'm so thankful for the way that He continues to combine my passion for leadership with ways I can grow in my walk with Him!
Stay tuned for more ways God is teaching me how to be more like Him and love others better!
